My sister forgot how to say “turn up the volume” so she said “zoom in on the sound”
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
I hope you fall in love with a man with good music taste and a jawline stronger than your wifi connection
this is a box of jolly rancher scented wax cubes. however, at first glance, they might just look like a box of weird jolly ranchers. imagine that you are a small child and you just have just gotten home from school. you see these on the table and jolly ranchers are your favorite candy so youre like fuck yeah and so you eat one only to be struck with horror as the seeming innocent candy is not candy at all, but in fact, wax.
Did you eat a wax cube
raising awareness for turtle bullying.
a growing problem.
A very slowly growing problem.
This gets funnier and funnier every time I see it
things that make me laugh harder than they should:
gifs made with terrible stationary parts
I want to die and be born again as a full hobbit.
I think hobbit metabolism work differently than human…
A moment of silence for those who have to share their computer with the family.
10/09/1991 - Columbus, Ohio, USA
im still exhausted from beating all the other sperms
ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda
lets play “which download link is the real one”
FUN FACT real download links won’t move if you drag them along with your mouse so if it does drag it’s an ad!!